3. As Promised, The Parcel

31/10/08

Personally, I would have liked the opportunity to discuss whether or not we should get the parcel before ultimately deciding to bring it in. But B. had already brought it in, so I had to make do with a short discussion about whether or not to open it. I'm sure I don't have to point out that things at this point are not exactly running as normal, we're beginning to get into a bit of a conspiracy situation here, at least events are seeming a shade on the fictional side anyway. If were we in one of those films that B. so loves, the box would contain gas which will render us unconscious, a bomb, a deadly virus. However, clearly this is not fiction, just quarantine and there's a nice big, heavy box just waiting for us to open it up, so we do. It's dark brown cardboard, done up neatly with parcel tape, no labels, no 'this way up', no fastenings requiring tools, a nice easy open. And we don't pass out or get blown up and as yet we're not sniffing or itching, so I guess we're in the clear. Did smell funny though, kind of chemically... perhaps there'll be a delayed reaction!

And inside, it's precision packed, everything wrapped in brown paper with white typed labels, like it's left over from WWII:

• A sturdy roll of sturdy tape. No, of course we didn't seal everything first, we had a good dig through the box!
• Tea bags.
• Coffee.
• 'Coffee whitener'?
• Sugar.
  
• 2 Ryvita shaped packets labelled 'dry bread'. Yum.
  
• 'Powdered egg'??
• 'Instant mash'.My favourite.
  
• Rice.
• Pasta.
• Box of matches, presumably to go with the
• Box of neat white candles. Uh oh, does this means they're expecting to cut the power? They can't be, or how would we cook the delights they sent? Just back up I suppose.
• Loads of tins. I don't think I can be doing with listing them all now, suffice to say they'd thought about our nutritional balance - tinned fruit, carrots, spinach (!) for the veg bit; baked beans, soups (chicken, oxtail), luncheon meat for the protein.

They've thought of everything. Apart from that some people are vegetarian and most people don't like luncheon meat. How desperate are they expecting us to get? I'm going to keep it all and auction it when my diary gets published. We've got tonnes in the cupboards and the freezer. Oh and at the bottom we found some plasters, and blister packs of aspirin, some 'antibiotics' and some vitamin C tablets. How long does it take to get scurvy?. I forgot the chocolate! Of course there was chocolate, they always put that in ration packs, don't they? Don't know if it's dark or milk - it just says 'chocolate' on the wrapper, and there's no way I'm opening it. That's going in my collection.

So opening the box was fun. We decided that as 'They' were taking the situation seriously enough to deliver a box of 'goodies', we'd better take it seriously enough to get taping.

You'll think I'm dreadful. (In fact, I don't think I want anyone to know this. No, this is my human angle, the first real anguish, so I need to put it in. No one's going to know who I am anyway) This was the first time I'd thought about our cats. When we talked about it we realised that we hadn't seen them since we last fed them, just before we heard the loudspeaker. In our defence, things were kind of weird and stressful, but you'd think we'd have missed them in the morning. So we search the house and shout and shake food pouches - nothing. Which left us with a dilemma, the one that had made us remember our pets in the first place - the cat flap. So now y0u find out just what kind of people we are - warm-hearted, taking our responsibilities as loving pet owners seriously or pragmatists with hearts of ice? That's right, you guessed it: pragmatists. Let's face it, they'd disappeared - they just don't do that. They are embarassingly good hunters and if they were alive and wanted to be home that's just where they'd be. At heart I don't think B. and I really believe we need to seal everything, but what's the point of sealing yourself into your house for 10 days if those tiny germs were just going to be welcomed through the cat flap. So we taped it up. If they come back, we'll hear them, trust me, so will most of the street and I have every intention of letting them in. I'm not hopeful though - they'd be back by now.

And that's the first time we really cried. I think we'd been enjoying the adventure up till then. We knew it was only 10 days, it made a change. But they were/are our cats and the anxiety came flooding out.

It's sort of creeping back in on me now I'm thinking about it now, so