5. Ain't Gonna Make It As A Whistler

2/11/08

Can't believe I've missed a day at this already! All this stuff about never before having had anything to write about, 10 days with nothing to do and I still go a whole day without writing. I'm going to stick myself in a loop of retrospect.

Can I excuse myself with having got caught up with exciting developments which I can now recount to my avid readers? Nope. Can I say that I've been in such despair and torment that I could not bear to pick up my notepad and scribble? Not that, either.

I have no excuse. I just have to face the fact that I'm not going make it as a writer. What a surprise!!! Except I can't just give it up. When you look at the situation B. and I are in, it's pretty unique. Aside, I suppose, from the fact that everyone else in Farnsworth (population 2540) is in the same situation. Maybe everyone is keeping a diary - now that would make an interesting book - the perspectives of different personality types, mothers with babies, the business execs, OK, hold on, I'm not going any further. I know it's selfish, but if I start thinking about everyone else, I'll start worrying about them and feeling guilty for being just fine thank you and then I'll be wanting to check up on everyone. But we're sealed in. If I go out looking and there really is a deadly virus , nobody will welcome me in and if they did what use am I? I should have thought of them all by now though. Staggers me how selfish I can be, having my little adventure in my lovely house with my full cupboards, and I never even thought. I'm sure 'They' would know if anyone had a young baby, or was heavily pregnant, or needed medical treatment. They'd deliver appropriate boxes, or take them to a quarantined hospital or something. But what if someone has an accident, or is all alone, or the heating breaks - how are they going to tell anyone?

Right, decision made - I won't go out looking, but if I hear anyone outside I will let them in and help in any way I can.

I have to keep writing because this doesn't happen. It's not something people usually go through, so an account of how it feels and how we react will be useful - if to noone else, to me and B.

It's still really quiet - it's amazing the difference road traffic makes to what you think is silence. When the radio and music are off there is the sound of the wind, of birds - so many more birds than normal - the occasional heavy exhalation of a horse in the field over the road. And the aircraft. I don't remember hearing so many of those before. I guess they tended to get filtered out by the noise of traffic.

I tried for local television again, but the reception's appalling - I'm sure they made it worse on purpose to make everyone go digital.

Radio 4 are apparently oblivious to our plight which makes it feel as though it isn't really happening. Perhaps it's so trivial next to presidential elections and rebellious uprisings that we just don't make it through. On a world scale, trivial is an understatement. Hard to see it like that when your world view is your house! But the loss of the people of Farnsworth for 10 days is not going to impact on global stability, economic sustainablity or social change, although 2540 people may appreciate their freedom just that little bit more!

We tidied the house. It's never been so clean. I took the bath panel of and vacuumed years of skin and hair from underneath. B. got the stain off the carpet on the stairs - I don't know how. It took us all day. It's great, we feel purged! Except for 5, yes 5 bin bags sitting in the spare room. Oh for access to the dustbin.

Well that's it, sorry if it's been a bit mundane.