11. Snap Out of it Rosey

7/11/08
I'm beginning to think I'd better change the title of this diary - me a survivor? It would appear that I lose the plot after only a week in which the only hardships are having to make do with tinned/frozen/dried food and not leaving the house. If we were to step out of the house to discover that the world had come to an end, well I don't have high hopes for the future of mankind.

Let's just call that a phase. I let myself slip, but I'm back. I'd be a total fool to waste these days of peace, just me and B. with no pressures from anyone or anything.
Would you like to know what I've been doing for the last 3 days? Playing solitaire, freecell and animal crossing. Not reading, drawing, philosophising, catching up on work. Not even playing something I could pretend did me good, like wii or braintraining. B.'s been much better. He's done loads of music - his best if you ask me. It's like his own diary of the week, urgent, claustrophobic, isolated, sinister...

I've been wondering why I play those games. It's almost a nihilistic thing - I know I should be doing something useful, but I'm in this negative, almost defiant mood, so I don't. But those games do have a point to them, so they satisfy that small part of me that wants to be constructive.

If I hadn't made up my mind to make the most of what's left of our adventure, I'd be really cross with myself. Instead I'm going to fill all of the days I've got left:

1. Write an entry
   
2. Get some exercise every day, at least 30 mins cardio (wii fit/skipping/step/running round the house) , 30 mins weights and 30 mins yoga.
3. Finish one of my big school tasks every day (that will make next week so much easier!)
4. Play my flute.
5. Play music with B.

Wish I'd thought about that when we started.