17. Anticipation, Frustration, Despondency

10/11/08

We got up really early this morning. In fact we were both wide awake before the alarm went off.
You can't imagine how excited we were - more excited than I'd expected. We were babbling away about seeing our families again, what we were going to eat, feeling the wind, what we'd say to the press...

It was great, better than setting off on holiday, with the car packed and the music on, heading for the sea or the mountains. It was better than waking up on Christmas morning knowing there's a load of presents waiting for you and that your loved ones were going to be so pleased with what you'd chosen for them.

The idea that we were going to do all the things we'd taken for granted and enjoying them so much more. The idea of telling everyone all about it. The idea of being free.

I took quite a long time getting ready - getting the hair straight, the make-up perfect, but keeping an ear on the radio. Meanwhile B. was systematically trying phones, testing the internet, checking out of the window, again and again in a loop.

We skipped breakfast - not to spoil whatever feast was coming shortly. I joined B. in the watch, but we heard nothing, had no signal and saw no change outside.

At about 10:00 we decided that we were going to give ourselves ulcers and tried to stop ourselves thinking about it by playing computer games - with the sound off of course. This was the 'watched pot' theory.

At 12:00pm we ate crackers with honey, then got changed and worked out for a bit. This was the 'sod's law' theory.

At 2:00pm we started discussing what time we could reasonably expect to hear. We decided that perhaps they'd delay till after working hours so loved ones could be there.

At 5:00pm we concluded that they must want to wait till after the rush hour to avoid traffic congestion.

At 8:00pm we agreed they were waiting till really late for minimum publicity.

At 11:00 I started crying, B. said he was going outside to find someone. I cried more. He shouted. I got hysterical. We both cried.

And now... we've come to an agreement. Perhaps the first or last day didn't count. Perhaps tomorrow is the day we go out.

They have till 12:00 pm tomorrow and then we go out.